I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
