He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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