I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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