plz talk dirty to me
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
