I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
