dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
