Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
