I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
