she looked like the bat from fern gully.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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