I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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