That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
