You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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