she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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