he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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