I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
