but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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