why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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