I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
