K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
