1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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