Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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