Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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