I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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