Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize