in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
