Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
