Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
