When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
this beer tastes like vomit already
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
