ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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