Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
