It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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