I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize