Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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