That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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