It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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