my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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