So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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