This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
