i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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