He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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