Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
