How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
is it fun? or sober?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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