Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
