im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
