p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
