Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I still have a little drunk in my system
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
