he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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