Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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