a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
