she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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