yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize