I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I deserve this hangover.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
