dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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