Do you still have your period?
I want to have your abortion
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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