I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
