Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
