You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
