Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
