guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just cropdusted the office
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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