i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
