i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
