Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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