wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
