well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Welp...herpes.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
