i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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