I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
