so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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