Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
