"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
