Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
