There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he puts the penis in happiness.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize