I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
