I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
