she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
