And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
