I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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