The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize